Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Significance of Family and Friends

After few engagements with my family here I am out to decant some thoughts that were just running round and round over my mind over the past few days. My mind is hovering over a very poignant phase these days. With my ears taking the pleasure of a soothing music at the background “Kehne ko Jasnee-eh-baharaa hai” from the movie “Jodha Akbar”, my heart is urged to dispense its experience with the 2 relationships Family and Friends. I have already written about these 2 relations individually but since I made it a point to let my day to day learning’s in my life in the blog, I got the urge to pen down the same with respect to balancing these 2 relations.

Having grown up in a joint family in a small town I never knew about solitude, apparently did not realize the need for friends in my life. Even during my college days I was with my brother and cared well by my relatives. It was when my brother departed from me in college after his graduation, the ray of friendship started shining in my life. Last 2 years of the college just flew away loaded with remarkable fun with friends that could be treasured forever. Then came a phase when my mind felt very responsible. Until then it was just flying without any boundaries. I set out on the job hunt. Oh my God..Although the IT industry was booming up it was still difficult for me to find a job. So over that period I was just focused on getting a good job. Tough times passed slowly I got a job. I was then focused on improving technically well to settle down with a satisfactory job. And now having caught hold of a satisfactory job most of the time started passing by with getting in touch with new and old friends. Most of the times I was out with my friends or had my friends at home. Days went by. My inclination towards friendship went growing like anything. In the sense when my friends were not with me I used to feel very lonely, during which unable to experience the solitude I used to immediately call up home and bother my parents to come down and stay with me. In this way I used to miss my family as well and crave for a permanent stay with them.

Today I have my parents with me at home and my mind is confronting a different feeling. Apparently overwhelmed with the bonding both with family and friends, my mind is unable to balance both equally well. Most of my weekends these days are spent with my family and when I see my friends moving out with other friends, unable to meet them skids my mind to a different thought. Unable to spend time as before with friends makes me fanatic and divulges to strange thoughts. The peculiar thoughts were slowly taking charge of my usual behavior. Being a sensitive person and over caring person my thoughts/feeling were trying to dominate my friend’s thoughts, which could always endanger the relation. On the other hand my parents being in town close with me, there were few family bound restrictions or kind of extra attention/caring from my parent’s side that laid as some barricade for my usual hang outs with friends. If I broke those restrictions I felt I would hurt my parents and on the other hand if I was not out with my friends I was becoming violent hurting myself a lot. Consequence of this I portrayed myself as a sadistic person in front of my parents ultimately screwing their happiness and indirectly mine. In this way my mind was ping ponging between family and friends. However I was lucky to enough to take some piece of advice from my brother and my friend who helped me to come out of this painful phase and taught me to strike a good balance between Family and Friends.

Final realization is

  • Never let your mind get captured by unenthusiastic thoughts
  • Never try to dominate your friends thoughts knowingly or unknowingly
  • Be patient, think and discuss only the required stuffs with parents. By trying to be candid it is not necessary that you discuss everything with your parents, few things could also be shared with the siblings or friends. This will keep both parents and yourself happy
  • Never expect anything in return from your family or friends

It was this frightful solitude that showed me the value of these 2 relations and I am happy that I have been blessed with beautiful family and friends, and today I can compare them 2 my eyes, where in both are very essential and it is necessary to balance them well to see or live the beautiful life!

Cheers,

Akshatha

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